25 replies to this topic

[Spongebob]

It does what it says on the tin, tell me your problems and i will give you a solution that only i can give.

Problems with a nation pushing you around?
Can't produce enough ARM to fend off that invasion?
Your planes get shot out of the sky?
Need a new strategy to invade that troublesome country?
Your wifes run off with the butcher?
Can't.... errm how do i put this.... Perform?

Well Ask Bob, I have the Answers.

[smedleythebarbarian]

I have this megalomaniac son
Well the ex says he’s mine except none of my family has square heads
When I first set eyes on her I was dumbfounded
Sure, I'd seen people like her before - but I had to pay an admission...
But after plying me with bountiful quantities of alcohol
Well I don’t remember………..maybe I did (shudder)
Anyways my question is…….. How can I put this
What are you going to do for a face when King Kong wants his ass back???

[DezertCamel]

Dear Bob,

I have a question?


What's it like to play Denmark in a game of Victory and finishing the game while still playing denmark (in the same game)

Curious minds want to know

Plus what's with the photo's of you and the Discus Fish showing up, out on the town doing all kinds of lewd things together. I thought you didn't like them.....

Your's truly

DezertCamel

[Spongebob]

Ok okay One question at a time.

Smelly my dear dad - You need to become one with your son, give him the love he has not had. A loving parent can make all the difference to a growing boy. This reference to king kong and is arse is worrying are you not trying to hide some dark secret desire? I think you need to lie down in a dark room and think long and hard about what this says about yourself.

I will book you in to see our top shrink at the Bob Squarepants Memorial Hospital for a fuller evaluation.



Now on to Mr D Camel - The playing of Denmark is a challenge I must admit and I have never been able to master the intrecate details of such a great nation. I must investigate this and find out if anyone ever has done what you have asked. The point of it all is not the winning or even the staying in the game its the taking part and doing your best. This is why I have never given up on Denmark and Denmark has never given up on me. I dont always get to play denmark but I always ask for it.

As for the photo well this colum is all about you and the people, I have my own issues and will deal with that fish in my own way, usually involving mayhem and murder.

[Pharaoh]

You are very wise and learned, especially for an invertebrate. Tell me the true meaning of life so that I may retire to the mountain top and sell this wisdom for a goodly return. I asked another sage and he merely replied "42". This is too deep for me, so if you give me a fake answer I can understand it would be preferable, so long as the answer has a good market value. The winner of the "Miss Madagascar" Starfish competition is being mailed in payment as we agreed.

[Saint Michael]

I do see that the Pharaoh is very knowledgable, he does see the light of the BOB! It is hard to beleave that the world does not see the light All should be groveling at your feet for your knowledge. You are truly amazing

[Spongebob]

Dear Mr Pharaoh - The meaning of life is simple - Death, usually at the hands of another on some distant shore.

St M - My loyal Disciple, your continued spouting of all things Bob, Square and Pants will ensure you have a place in Bobs own country for all time. As a reward for your loyalty I will not kill you Together we shall convert the infidels to the true way. As you say Pharoah is wise, not as wise as myself or as good looking for that matter but he is wise. He will now be-able to export the meaning of life to all shores far and wide.

[Saint Michael]

Oh thank you, oh Bob on High

[the_dark_monk]

Ohhh Dr. Sponge I have a serious problem. I do not like to kill other Nations. I like to have good relations with my neighbors. How can I erase such thoughts from my brain? How can I convert my self in a dark, unfriendly being consuming every nation I can find?


The Monk

[HPW]

Sorry to disturb you guys in here,
but since my TR report from the Siberian Taiga
confuses me a bit I would like to ask
if the "troops" there could have been
your from Denmark retreated rest of your regiments?
I mean does this flag look familiar to you?

You can be open Sponge, I am not angry on you,
I just want to know so that I can be carefull capturing
you in Siberia if this was your flag there...?

[Grimor]

dear Sponge....

do you go for pure mots in the beginning or a mix with inf... or just go all out and say panzers is the deluxe way...

so you destroy the heavy factories and build lots of arm factories and assume you will conquer the world in the first 10 turns....


hmmm do you save the airpoints for that nice junker or just build for fun...

do you declare war on turn two or wait and see if you can snatch away he prize on turn 5 when your neighbours have killed each other....

will it be OMA TAS OR AA


my head spins with all those questions and no answers......

[Spongebob]

Ah I see there are many ignorant ones posting today. I will attempt to enlighten each.

Monk - Why do you need answers, your my arch enemy, my nemesis, my laundry boy (I wont tell anyone that) So you have a desire to maim and kill everyone yet dont have the kahunnas to do it. The solution is simple ( a bit like you ) you must enter the following order - DW followed by the nation you wish to be unfriendly with.

HPW I have no idea what you are on about, are those crutches or needles on the flag You are just a bit Mad and need to find the Monk. I will send you some medication to calm you down. They will have a little V on them

Finally for tonight we move onto Grimor - So many questions, one such as yourself should know the best tactics to use but for me I would choose the following.

I mix INF & MECHS. I build Heavy Factorys not destroy, once I have enough CP then I destroy and build anything I need. I always assume I will conquer the world in under 10 turns. It is the Law. Everyone else breaks the Law and therefor should be shot. What is this Law, Its Bobs Law. Air power is not my favorite weapon but I do like to Air Drop troops and let them fight there way home. I always wait and let eveyone else DW before me, I like to know how many hate me at a game start, amazingly the most DW I have ever had on me at T3 is 2, I want a new record now in V80. Always OMA TAS

Hope this all helps Grimor but the best tactic for you now is surrender, become a follower of Bob, one of my 12 Disiples ( ok I only have 1 at the moment but im working on it )

Cya all soon, tune in for more of ASK BOB!

[Meaty_Bites]

y weren't you in game 77 ?

[Spongebob]

Well when V77 was about I was already playing in 3 games and 3s my limit. There is only so much Bob to go round and I only have enough rhetoric for 3.

As it stands no im in 79, 80 and when 81 starts I hope to play my beloved Denmark once more.

[the_dark_monk]

What about game 78?