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101 Uses of a Dead Sponge


Guest Spongebob
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Tssskkkk dear Sponge,

 

Instead of "Im France 85", I thought we had agreed you would sign, "Im French food, please eat me!". Clumsy to mix this up. An excuse to all other players would be nice.

 

Corrected Madmuppet

 

Spongiebaby,

 

Who cares anyway: you are in a game, even quicker out of it, with any country. If I answer the question if you are French, my answer is: you are escaped from a loony tune mental hospital...regardless from which country.

 

But I am realy impressed with this history listing of France and Europe...very good.

 

Greetings Rednas Ruler of France...in 79 still in there and beating the cr... out of our (few left) enemies.

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Redass I dont suppose your in game 85 are you? found a nice rock maybe?

 

Dear Spongieboobie,

 

This is not regarding VIC85 or any other VIC, because it is regarding "101 Uses of a Dead Sponge". But I see, once again you don't know were you are, what you doing, what is this is all about. Although you started this forum yourself....

But the question here does arise: are YOU still in VIC85....or any other VIC. If yes...not for long boy. You will kick yourself out, soon enough I guess...no I know.

 

Yes and the rock I found did play music btw, it was a rock and roll.

 

Ah...Spongie...life is not easy without bones...the salt water did soak youre small brains. Good luck to you gonna need it...I am sure.

 

Greetings Rednas, Rednose, Redass, Redneck, whatever kind of Red, but the true Ruler of France in VIC79, but that does not matter. That is also a game started with the Sponge, ask him about it, what happened with him...but we all know what happened.

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  • 4 weeks later...
Ok people it seems there are various uses already listed in the forums but here is the challenge. I want a list of 101 uses for a dead sponge ;) Thats 101 seperate posts, you can post as many as you want and at the end I will list the top 10. Should prove an interesting distraction.

 

Over to you... :D

 

After almost 6 weeks we have reached 35 replies.

That is a bit disappointing compared to the goals set. :)

And amongst those 35 are a lot of 'throw it away' reactions. :(

 

So, analysing all of this I see the following possible conclusions:

1) a Dead sponge is of limited use only, far from the aimed 101.

2) a Sponge, dead or alive, is not useful at all.

3) The public is not familiar with the use of a dead sponge. Possible causes are:

- The imagination and innovativeness of the people reading this forum is

too limited to find any use for a dead sponge.

- a Lack of education, marketing and/or good manuals.

 

So, what will be your verdict......?

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Guest Spongebob

Well seeing as I started this thinking we would have some inventive uses for a dead me i feel it is my place to end it.

 

I would go with option 3 Qrush

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Well seeing as I started this thinking we would have some inventive uses for a dead me i feel it is my place to end it.

 

I would go with option 3 Qrush

Not quite surprising form your point of view spongebob. :)

But in this case it migh be usefull to 'explain' some of the possible uses of sponges.

Allow me to present you a manual on the subject of sponges:

 

How to Communicate With Sponges

Have you ever felt lonely? Have you ever wanted to have a conversation, but had nobody to talk with? Have you ever looked at your sponge, desperately, wanting nothing more than to communicate with him or her? If so, following these steps will ensure effective communication between you and your sponge.

 

Steps

1. Isolate the sponge. Sponges, by nature, lack the ability to concentrate on one thing for an extended period of time; they are easily distracted. This explains why communication between humans and sponges is so rare. Sitting in a sink or on a countertop, a sponge is distracted by so many things that he or she cannot concentrate long enough on you to communicate in any way.

 

2. Find a small space devoid of any objects. Place the sponge on the floor in this space, and then enter the space yourself.

 

3. Stare intently at the sponge. The color of the sponge determines exactly where you should stare at it. Blue sponges prefer to have their right side stared at, while green sponges prefer to have their left side stared at. Yellow sponges enjoy being stared at down the middle. Finally, if the sponge is any shade of red, including orange and pink, he or she likes to be stared at around the anus area. This may make you uncomfortable, but the sponge will be very happy.

 

4. Make no sudden movement. At this point, the sponge will be staring directly at you, and you will be staring directly at it. After about ten minutes of intense staredown, the sponge will have finally adjusted to your presence. He or she is now concentrating on you and you alone. If you make any sudden movement, however, the sponge will become distracted, get scared, and flee the space.

 

5. Say the word "Schumpf."

 

6. Wait six seconds.

 

7. Say the word "Retard", emphasizing the second syllable (re-TARD).

 

8. Wait four seconds.

 

9. Say the word "Guesstimate."

 

10. Stand completely still. The magic code of "Schumpf reTARD" has been uttered. "Guesstimate" was only said to humor the sponge, as "guesstimate" is a funny word. Within only seconds, you will be communicating with your sponge.

 

11. Let the sponge do the talking. Once your sponge begins to speak, he or she will not want to stop. As untrained sponges (or "pups" in the sponge community), they are capable of talking for hours without stopping. Also, you will observe that the voice is whiny and high pitched. This noise may cause you to excrete uncontrollably; that is, waste will literally be plummeting from your anus into your pants, where it will then trickle slowly down your leg and onto the floor.

 

12. Listen carefully. Although the sponge seems to be talking aimlessly (and annoyingly complaining a fair amount, too), his or her words are sacred. Do not interrupt the sponge; instead, listen to its entire speech. Once he or she has finished, you may proceed.

 

13. Name your sponge. The very first word you speak to your sponge following its hour-long rant must be his or her name. Male sponges require strictly masculine names; female sponges require strictly feminine names. So don't name the sponge "Jamie" or "Alex" or "Sam". Also, all sponges require normal, American names, so don't even try naming the sponge "Azia" or "Musa" or "Juan". And finally, sponges hate celebrities, so don't you even dare name the sponge "Beyonce" or "Paris" or "Napoleon Dynamite." Don't even go there.

 

14. Once the name has been uttered, always refer to the sponge by his or her name. If you remember to do that, you will be able to successfully talk to your sponge.

 

Tips

* Once you have begun your conversation with the sponge, do not mention SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob is like their George Bush; he represents their species poorly.

* Determine the gender of the sponge in the same way that you would determine the gender of a human.

* Good male sponge names include: Ben, John, Steve, and Walter.

* Good female sponge names include: Lauren, Jessica, Marsha, or Anne.

* Don't you even dare try to communicate with two sponges at once. This will create jealousy, which can lead to sponge murder.

 

Warnings

* Sponges are carnivorous. Numerous cases of man-killing sponge attacks have been reported.

* Sponges have been known to use foul language.

* Sponges are outspoken racists and sexists, too.

* If a sponge gets overexcited about the topic of the conversation, he or she will urinate with no aim whatsoever.

 

(source: www.wikihowl.com)

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[* Once you have begun your conversation with the sponge, do not mention SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob is like their George Bush; he represents their species poorly.

 

Now there you go being political and making a stupid comment. I'm not the biggest Bush supporter, but he is far from being someone who "represents the species poorly."

enough said.

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Well seeing as I started this thinking we would have some inventive uses for a dead me i feel it is my place to end it.

 

I would go with option 3 Qrush

Not quite surprising form your point of view spongebob. :)

But in this case it migh be usefull to 'explain' some of the possible uses of sponges.

Allow me to present you a manual on the subject of sponges:

 

How to Communicate With Sponges

Have you ever felt lonely? Have you ever wanted to have a conversation, but had nobody to talk with? Have you ever looked at your sponge, desperately, wanting nothing more than to communicate with him or her? If so, following these steps will ensure effective communication between you and your sponge.

 

Steps

1. Isolate the sponge. Sponges, by nature, lack the ability to concentrate on one thing for an extended period of time; they are easily distracted. This explains why communication between humans and sponges is so rare. Sitting in a sink or on a countertop, a sponge is distracted by so many things that he or she cannot concentrate long enough on you to communicate in any way.

 

2. Find a small space devoid of any objects. Place the sponge on the floor in this space, and then enter the space yourself.

 

3. Stare intently at the sponge. The color of the sponge determines exactly where you should stare at it. Blue sponges prefer to have their right side stared at, while green sponges prefer to have their left side stared at. Yellow sponges enjoy being stared at down the middle. Finally, if the sponge is any shade of red, including orange and pink, he or she likes to be stared at around the anus area. This may make you uncomfortable, but the sponge will be very happy.

 

4. Make no sudden movement. At this point, the sponge will be staring directly at you, and you will be staring directly at it. After about ten minutes of intense staredown, the sponge will have finally adjusted to your presence. He or she is now concentrating on you and you alone. If you make any sudden movement, however, the sponge will become distracted, get scared, and flee the space.

 

5. Say the word "Schumpf."

 

6. Wait six seconds.

 

7. Say the word "Retard", emphasizing the second syllable (re-TARD).

 

8. Wait four seconds.

 

9. Say the word "Guesstimate."

 

10. Stand completely still. The magic code of "Schumpf reTARD" has been uttered. "Guesstimate" was only said to humor the sponge, as "guesstimate" is a funny word. Within only seconds, you will be communicating with your sponge.

 

11. Let the sponge do the talking. Once your sponge begins to speak, he or she will not want to stop. As untrained sponges (or "pups" in the sponge community), they are capable of talking for hours without stopping. Also, you will observe that the voice is whiny and high pitched. This noise may cause you to excrete uncontrollably; that is, waste will literally be plummeting from your anus into your pants, where it will then trickle slowly down your leg and onto the floor.

 

12. Listen carefully. Although the sponge seems to be talking aimlessly (and annoyingly complaining a fair amount, too), his or her words are sacred. Do not interrupt the sponge; instead, listen to its entire speech. Once he or she has finished, you may proceed.

 

13. Name your sponge. The very first word you speak to your sponge following its hour-long rant must be his or her name. Male sponges require strictly masculine names; female sponges require strictly feminine names. So don't name the sponge "Jamie" or "Alex" or "Sam". Also, all sponges require normal, American names, so don't even try naming the sponge "Azia" or "Musa" or "Juan". And finally, sponges hate celebrities, so don't you even dare name the sponge "Beyonce" or "Paris" or "Napoleon Dynamite." Don't even go there.

 

14. Once the name has been uttered, always refer to the sponge by his or her name. If you remember to do that, you will be able to successfully talk to your sponge.

 

Tips

* Once you have begun your conversation with the sponge, do not mention SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob is like their George Bush; he represents their species poorly.

* Determine the gender of the sponge in the same way that you would determine the gender of a human.

* Good male sponge names include: Ben, John, Steve, and Walter.

* Good female sponge names include: Lauren, Jessica, Marsha, or Anne.

* Don't you even dare try to communicate with two sponges at once. This will create jealousy, which can lead to sponge murder.

 

Warnings

* Sponges are carnivorous. Numerous cases of man-killing sponge attacks have been reported.

* Sponges have been known to use foul language.

* Sponges are outspoken racists and sexists, too.

* If a sponge gets overexcited about the topic of the conversation, he or she will urinate with no aim whatsoever.

 

(source: www.wikihowl.com)

 

 

;)

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