KFC Posted March 7, 2007 Report Share Posted March 7, 2007 From the Desk of the Vice - President of the Nova Confederate States Vice - President Jefferson Davis MMLCXIV Imperial Palace - New Richmond Second Orbit of Nova Virginia Greetings to the Thaaker Deveastors #4217 We have received an Omega drone from one of our exploration ships we lost contact with two cycles ago. We apologize if we have intruded into space claimed by your species. Our exploration ship was on a standard “search and gather” mission for the eleven rare herbs and spices that we use in the preparation of our favourite food. Our intention was not to “ruffle any feathers” in this region of space. You will note that the ship was led by a lowly – wing - commander I am not at liberty to discuss the preparation of our food, food sources or the use/preparation of these rare herbs and spices. Therefore, I can not give the location of our meeting over open channels. We have classified our meeting as a KFC (Kill First Contact) incident and are despatching one of our top people to the area to investigate. His name is Cornel Thigh and he has been entrusted to open full negotiations with your empire - should you wish. I apologize in advance if our species seems repulsive in appearance or the smell of grease that permeates the inside of our ships and dress uniforms disagrees with you. You may discuss this matter with my envoy Col Thigh or contact me at this address with a PM to clarify your intentions in this area of space. Perhaps you would care to join us in a prayer at one of our gloomy Grand Cathedrals dedicated to Trans-Fattus the Dark One, generating favour for our empires in the eyes of Trans-Fattus the Dark One? Thank you in advance PostScript (PS) Your species is not related to any kind of bipedal – warm-blooded-oviparous vertebrate, fowl or birds that are prone to migrating long distances……are you? This would prove interesting for our future relations. Also, we are actively seeking to find the home world of the Flock. Any information you could provide would be of tremendous help. We are very anxious to meet this species! Must go, I am due for a quick by-pass on my fourth heart and I am late for surgery! No chickens were hurt in the creation of this sub-space message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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