Krelnett_of_Kraan Posted November 15, 2003 Report Share Posted November 15, 2003 :lol:Every board I've been on has had a place to post jokes (tasteful, please) that weren't necessarily in keeping with the theme of the board. Here's ours. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krelnett_of_Kraan Posted November 15, 2003 Author Report Share Posted November 15, 2003 A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?" The clerk says, "What denomination?" The woman says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me six Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sakarissa Posted November 15, 2003 Report Share Posted November 15, 2003 Two vultures board an airplane; each is carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger." Sakarissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EternusIV Posted November 15, 2003 Report Share Posted November 15, 2003 Nice! I will provide links to obscure mini-movies once a week: The first installment of The Everlasting Screen Spam: Eternus Films Presents (Week 1) "Star Wars Gangsta Rap" A tribute to Star Wars fans everywhere. I think you'll appreciate the lyrics. Nothing obscene here in the least I wouldn't be surprised if some of you have seen this. It won an award at a Star Wars fanfare a while back. Some of you will like it, others may hate it You never know with Eternus Films! Star Wars Gangsta Rap Click on "Watch Film" in upper right hand corner. "We got deathstar!........" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laserwolf Posted November 15, 2003 Report Share Posted November 15, 2003 One day there were two men walking down a dirt path. One of them had a big potato sack over his shoulder. The other decided to ask what was in the sack. When he asked, the man said, ''I got me some chickens for dinner tonight. Mmm Mmm Mmm... Chicken sure sounds good tonight.'' The other one says, "If'n I can guess how many you got in there, can I have one?" ''Well I'll tell you,'' replied the man, ''If you can guess how many chickens I got in this here sack I'll give them both to you.'' "OK", hmmmm "5"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sakarissa Posted November 16, 2003 Report Share Posted November 16, 2003 Two boll weevils grew up in the deep South. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils. Sakarissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonshadow Posted November 16, 2003 Report Share Posted November 16, 2003 How many Supernova players does it take to screw in a light bulb? All of them. One screws in the light bulb. 43 suggest alternate routes to the light bulb 157 argue what how to claim the right to put in the light bulb 73 claim that putting in the light bulb was an act of agression 73 claim that putting in the light bulb was not act of agression the GSL claim the light bulb is free to all, if you follow certain rules they then make up the PA want to get all the light bulbs The Hbob want to deliver beer to the light bulb area Isis wants the light bulb tech path MMB claims the GSL is trying to tell Him how to handle light bulbs The GSL claim MMB should not talk about light bulbs as he learned about them before he left 48 people wonder if the light bulb will be important later in the game 3 people argue on if the light bulb is covered differently in common or Napoleanic law 3056 people post notes having nothing to do with the light bulb thread 1 Gm deletes the thread Feel free to add things I forgot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sakarissa Posted November 16, 2003 Report Share Posted November 16, 2003 Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too. Sakarissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowKitsune Posted November 16, 2003 Report Share Posted November 16, 2003 Moonshadow, funny stuff! You forgot - T.O.M.A. holds the lightbulb next to the socket and then waits for the universe to revolve around him. Ghorjaan repudiates the lightbulb as blood and darkness should be sufficient for the followers of Mr. Unpronouncable. [insert obscure religious text here] :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sakarissa Posted November 16, 2003 Report Share Posted November 16, 2003 A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." Sakarissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gervais Posted November 16, 2003 Report Share Posted November 16, 2003 (Don't read this if you are a blonde) A group of blondes are celebrating in a bar, cheering each other wth cries of "51 days!" The barman askes them "Wotcha celebratin'?" One of the blondes replies, "We've just finished a jigsaw puzzle, in only 51 days -- but on the box it said '2 to 4 years'!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sakarissa Posted November 16, 2003 Report Share Posted November 16, 2003 Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication. Sakarissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EternusIV Posted November 17, 2003 Report Share Posted November 17, 2003 So this engineer came to work with a new bicycle. The astrophysicist asked him, "Hey where'd you get the new bike?" The engineer responded: "The most amazing thing happened the other day. This beautiful girl rode this bike to the front of my house, took off all of her clothes and told me I could have anything I wanted." After a short period of stunned silence, the engineer continued: "There was no way the clothes would fit, so I took the bike." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ixitixl Posted November 17, 2003 Report Share Posted November 17, 2003 A married woman purchases an antique oil lamp from a garage sale. She takes it home and then begins to polish the item by rubbing it with a cloth. Low and behold a Genie appears from the mist escaping the oil lamp. The Genie then speaks. “I AM THE GENIE OF THE LAMP. I WILL GRANT YOU THREE WISHES. BUT BE WARNED. SINCE YOU ARE MARRIED YOUR HUSBAND WILL RECEIVE THE SAME WISHES WITH 3 TIMES THE RESULT.” The Wife: “I understand. My first wish to become incredible wealthy” The Genie: “I WILL GRANT YOU YOUR WISH, BUT YOUR HUSBAND WILL BECOME THE RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD.” The Wife: “That is fine, we share everything equally in our marriage. For my second wish, I want to be very beautiful.” The Genie: “I WILL GRANT YOU YOUR SECOND WISH, BUT YOUR HUSBAND WILL BECOME THE MOST HANDSOME MAN IN THE WORLD.” The Wife: “That is okay, he only has eyes for me." The Genie: “WHAT DO YOU DESIRE FOR YOUR THIRD WISH?” The wife looks around nervously and whispers to the Genie: “I wish for a mild heart attack”. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sakarissa Posted November 17, 2003 Report Share Posted November 17, 2003 A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." Sakarissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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