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Krelnett_of_Kraan

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A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.

She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"

The clerk says, "What denomination?"

The woman says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me six Catholic, 12

Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists." :cheers:

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Nice!

 

I will provide links to obscure mini-movies once a week:

 

The first installment of The Everlasting Screen Spam:

 

 

 

Eternus Films Presents (Week 1)

 

"Star Wars Gangsta Rap"

 

A tribute to Star Wars fans everywhere. I think you'll appreciate the lyrics. Nothing obscene here in the least :cheers: I wouldn't be surprised if some of you have seen this. It won an award at a Star Wars fanfare a while back. Some of you will like it, others may hate it :P You never know with Eternus Films!

 

Star Wars Gangsta Rap

 

Click on "Watch Film" in upper right hand corner.

 

"We got deathstar!........"

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One day there were two men walking down a dirt path. One of them had a big potato sack over his shoulder. The other decided to ask what was in the sack.

When he asked, the man said, ''I got me some chickens for dinner tonight. Mmm Mmm Mmm... Chicken sure sounds good tonight.''

 

The other one says, "If'n I can guess how many you got in there, can I have one?"

 

''Well I'll tell you,'' replied the man, ''If you can guess how many chickens I got in this here sack I'll give them both to you.''

 

"OK", hmmmm "5"?

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How many Supernova players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 

All of them.

 

One screws in the light bulb.

 

43 suggest alternate routes to the light bulb

157 argue what how to claim the right to put in the light bulb

73 claim that putting in the light bulb was an act of agression

73 claim that putting in the light bulb was not act of agression

the GSL claim the light bulb is free to all, if you follow certain rules they then make up

the PA want to get all the light bulbs

The Hbob want to deliver beer to the light bulb area

Isis wants the light bulb tech path

MMB claims the GSL is trying to tell Him how to handle light bulbs

The GSL claim MMB should not talk about light bulbs as he learned about them before he left

48 people wonder if the light bulb will be important later in the game

3 people argue on if the light bulb is covered differently in common or Napoleanic law

3056 people post notes having nothing to do with the light bulb thread

1 Gm deletes the thread

 

Feel free to add things I forgot

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(Don't read this if you are a blonde)

 

A group of blondes are celebrating in a bar, cheering each other wth cries of "51 days!" :cheers:

 

The barman askes them "Wotcha celebratin'?"

 

One of the blondes replies, "We've just finished a jigsaw puzzle, in only 51 days -- but on the box it said '2 to 4 years'!"

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So this engineer came to work with a new bicycle.

 

The astrophysicist asked him, "Hey where'd you get the new bike?"

 

The engineer responded: "The most amazing thing happened the other day. This beautiful girl rode this bike to the front of my house, took off all of her clothes and told me I could have anything I wanted."

 

After a short period of stunned silence, the engineer continued:

 

"There was no way the clothes would fit, so I took the bike."

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A married woman purchases an antique oil lamp from a garage sale. She takes it home and then begins to polish the item by rubbing it with a cloth. Low and behold a Genie appears from the mist escaping the oil lamp.

 

The Genie then speaks. “I AM THE GENIE OF THE LAMP. I WILL GRANT YOU THREE WISHES. BUT BE WARNED. SINCE YOU ARE MARRIED YOUR HUSBAND WILL RECEIVE THE SAME WISHES WITH 3 TIMES THE RESULT.”

 

The Wife: “I understand. My first wish to become incredible wealthy”

 

The Genie: “I WILL GRANT YOU YOUR WISH, BUT YOUR HUSBAND WILL BECOME THE RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD.”

 

The Wife: “That is fine, we share everything equally in our marriage. For my second wish, I want to be very beautiful.”

 

The Genie: “I WILL GRANT YOU YOUR SECOND WISH, BUT YOUR HUSBAND WILL BECOME THE MOST HANDSOME MAN IN THE WORLD.”

 

The Wife: “That is okay, he only has eyes for me."

 

The Genie: “WHAT DO YOU DESIRE FOR YOUR THIRD WISH?”

 

The wife looks around nervously and whispers to the Genie: “I wish for a mild heart attack”.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

 

Sakarissa :angry2:

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