Szorpek Rohannol Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 STORIES OF THE SOUTH Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can't touch it until she's fourteen. _________________________________________________ How do you know when your staying in a Kentucky hotel? When you call the front desk and say, "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead." _________________________________________________ How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married? There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck. _________________________________________________ Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32? It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools. _________________________________________________ Where was the toothbrush invented? Arkansas. If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush. _________________________________________________ A new law recently passed in North Carolina: When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister. _________________________________________________ What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common? Somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer. _________________________________________________ [is there anyone I haven't offended? If so, let me know and I'll think of something] Szorpek Rohannol (without the underscore) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cao Cao the Nice Guy Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 HISTORY LESSON A World War II pilot is reminiscing before school children about his days in the air force. "In 1942," he says, "the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember," he continues, "one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared. At this point, several of the children giggle. "I looked up, and right above me was one of them. I aimed at him and shot him down. They were swarming. I immediately realized that there was another fokker behind me." At hearing the pilot go on, the girls in the auditorium start to giggle and boys start to laugh. The teacher stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of the German-Dutch aircraft company." "That's true," says the pilot, "but these fokkers were flying Messerschmidts." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gervais Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 A man was in a terrible accident and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said that the cost would be $3500 for "small", $6500 for "medium", and $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium or a large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before deciding. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room and found the man looking quite dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" he asked. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowKitsune Posted December 1, 2003 Report Share Posted December 1, 2003 [is there anyone I haven't offended? If so, let me know and I'll think of something] You missed Gerogia, Mississippi and Louisiana ... "You might be a redneck if ... you try to mail a watermelon using food stamps." - Jeff Foxworthy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AKO Posted December 2, 2003 Report Share Posted December 2, 2003 Cao Cao the Nice guy: Fokker was a full Dutch company, nothing German about it. Founded by Anthony Fokker, a famous Dutch aviator. The airplane construction company went bankrupt about ten years ago. In line with this forum: you can imagine what the name is of the first airplane Fokker ever build, the mother of all Fokker airplanes..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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