Slicer Posted March 9, 2009 Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 The Finnish Parliament has officially declared war on Northern Russia. We have also removed all Swedish diplomats as well. Wow. That's pretty drastic, don't you think. It is true that there is an influx of real estate and labor law attorneys from Northern Russia in Finland, but it is just normal migratory patterns of these professionals. Of course, the real estate attorneys have been working long hours on quiet title actions and the labor law attorneys have been suing the government for unsafe labor practices, but my government cannot control that. You should totally understand that. Northern Russia is a nation of laws. With the warmest of regards, Chancellor Slicerov Republic of Northern Russia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qrush Posted March 9, 2009 Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 The Finnish Parliament has officially declared war on Northern Russia. We have also removed all Swedish diplomats as well. Wow. That's pretty drastic, don't you think. It is true that there is an influx of real estate and labor law attorneys from Northern Russia in Finland, but it is just normal migratory patterns of these professionals. Of course, the real estate attorneys have been working long hours on quiet title actions and the labor law attorneys have been suing the government for unsafe labor practices, but my government cannot control that. You should totally understand that. Northern Russia is a nation of laws. With the warmest of regards, Chancellor Slicerov Republic of Northern Russia Sounds like a typicall 'integration' problem. You better invite some Finnish to learn about there habits, culture, language before thinking of migration. The bright side; at least your attorneys are returning home from that 'warm welcome' finland offered. I am sure some cultures might respond, uhm, less civilized.... Although we don't have specific knowledge on Finnish or Russian subjects, we do have some advisors available to assist the both of you on the common migration and integration problems. Yours Sincerly, Q. The independent, collorblind gypsy, still looking for a place to settle in peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurassier Posted March 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 Wow. That's pretty drastic, don't you think. It is true that there is an influx of real estate and labor law attorneys from Northern Russia in Finland, but it is just normal migratory patterns of these professionals. Of course, the real estate attorneys have been working long hours on quiet title actions and the labor law attorneys have been suing the government for unsafe labor practices, but my government cannot control that. You should totally understand that. Northern Russia is a nation of laws. With the warmest of regards, Chancellor Slicerov Republic of Northern Russia First, none of the Northern Russian real estate or labor law attorneys from Northern Russia are licensed to practice law in Finland. Therefore, they were all arrested for practicing law without a license. Intead of keepoing them incarcerated in Finnish prisons, we decided it was more beneficial to the Finnish people to send them back to Leningrad in dinghys. Now many of the dinghys were rather beat up, so some may not have made it. Of course, just to make sure those that made it didn't turn around and sue us as the manufacturer of the boats, we made sure all the dinghys used were ones that were made in Northern Russia,(however I think one or two were made in Sweden or the Baltic States) So you should be prepared for an onslaught of prolific litigation that will probably clog your courts in the near future. All of the law suits and quiet title actions by these renegade attorneys, have been dismissed. In addition, all actions were found to be frivolous, so attorney fees and punitive damages (allowed under Finnish law) have been ordered against the offending party. In each suit, these litigators listed 'Northern Russia' as the Petitioner/Plaintiff and as a result, the Northern Russian government currently owes the Finnish government, 10,000,000,000 markka. We do accept Visa, Mastercard or Finnish Express. In addition, there are thousands of Northern Russian troops that are trespassing in Juuka and Lieksa provinces. These invaders have murdered countless civilians. Warrants have been issued for the arrest of these criminals. Fortunately the trespassers at Sotkamo were caught at the border. There will be further litigation as a result of these criminal actions, which the criminals indicate was done on behalf of their government, Northern Russia. They also informed us that they were supposed to be meeting their Swedish cousins there, who were supposed to be doing the same. Needless to say, I think the response was fairly mild as a result and not drastic enough. Therefore we will need to get more 'drastic' unless you turn over all the criminals, pay the damages, and stay out of Finland. Sincerely, the Finnish Minister of Tourism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Atkins Posted March 9, 2009 Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 First, none of the Northern Russian real estate or labor law attorneys from Northern Russia are licensed to practice law in Finland. Therefore, they were all arrested for practicing law without a license. Intead of keepoing them incarcerated in Finnish prisons, we decided it was more beneficial to the Finnish people to send them back to Leningrad in dinghys. Now many of the dinghys were rather beat up, so some may not have made it. Of course, just to make sure those that made it didn't turn around and sue us as the manufacturer of the boats, we made sure all the dinghys used were ones that were made in Northern Russia,(however I think one or two were made in Sweden or the Baltic States) So you should be prepared for an onslaught of prolific litigation that will probably clog your courts in the near future. Sincerely, the Finnish Minister of Tourism Greetings from the Dey of Algiers! To Our Finnish Cousin, We observe the perfidity of attorneys is matched only by the duplicity of diplomats. It is well that you've taken action to rid your country of these pests and wish you continued success. We also congratulate you on using dinghy's as the mode of transport, as anything with sails would have been sped along by their own hot air. Although highly impractical at the moment; we would remind you that we do keep few of the old Galleys around and are always looking for 'volunteers' to man the oars should you find yourself running short of other suitable transport. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurassier Posted March 9, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 Greetings from the Dey of Algiers! To Our Finnish Cousin, We observe the perfidity of attorneys is matched only by the duplicity of diplomats. It is well that you've taken action to rid your country of these pests and wish you continued success. We also congratulate you on using dinghy's as the mode of transport, as anything with sails would have been sped along by their own hot air. Although highly impractical at the moment; we would remind you that we do keep few of the old Galleys around and are always looking for 'volunteers' to man the oars should you find yourself running short of other suitable transport. If they send any more lawyers across the border, we will send them to you to man your galleys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Atkins Posted March 9, 2009 Report Share Posted March 9, 2009 If they send any more lawyers across the border, we will send them to you to man your galleys. Greetings from the Dey of Algiers! To Our Finnish Cousin, We thank you for your generosity and eagerly await their arrival. In fact, your offer has sparked a lively debate between the Court Physician and our Galley Master, Anwher the Pederast, over who greets them first! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spongebob Posted March 10, 2009 Report Share Posted March 10, 2009 All this nicey nicey stuff is making me SICK - Tommy bob your too far aay to help out Finland, and lets face it why on earth would you. And another thing your soon going to feel the Jack Boot of oppression yourself so start worrying about how you are going to survive. You know there is one very disapointing thing about this game and thats the total lack of credible opponants, only Kurryarsier in Finland is worthy of my spite, not a single other springs to mind worthy of me so It looks like I will have to assist my best best buddy in Northern Russia. Hey slicer we had them fooled did'nt we, they never guessed you and me VS the rest, he he he eh! So have you guessed who I am yet - Baltics, Sweden, Norway ???? Im coming to get you kay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Atkins Posted March 10, 2009 Report Share Posted March 10, 2009 All this nicey nicey stuff is making me SICK - Tommy bob your too far aay to help out Finland, and lets face it why on earth would you. And another thing your soon going to feel the Jack Boot of oppression yourself so start worrying about how you are going to survive.You know there is one very disapointing thing about this game and thats the total lack of credible opponants, only Kurryarsier in Finland is worthy of my spite, not a single other springs to mind worthy of me so It looks like I will have to assist my best best buddy in Northern Russia. Hey slicer we had them fooled did'nt we, they never guessed you and me VS the rest, he he he eh! So have you guessed who I am yet - Baltics, Sweden, Norway ???? Im coming to get you kay Greetings from the Dey of Algiers! Of course we are being nice; one does not yell at the dog one is putting to sleep! We observe that distances can shrink, and friendships can grow. We find the Rus to be amiable and feel the best service we could do them is to have you assist the lawyers. We wonder at who would be wearing this 'Jack Boot' and why you would be privvy to such information. We are certain that the honking of geese, the nagging of crows, and the squishing of sponges are among the most annoying sounds we have to bear. We also feel that something called 'Spellcheck' would be a welcome addition to your library. Bring carrots for the donkeys! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurassier Posted March 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted March 10, 2009 You know there is one very disapointing thing about this game and thats the total lack of credible opponants, only Kurryarsier in Finland is worthy of my spite, not a single other springs to mind worthy of me so It looks like I will have to assist my best best buddy in Northern Russia. Hey slicer we had them fooled did'nt we, they never guessed you and me VS the rest, he he he eh! So have you guessed who I am yet - Baltics, Sweden, Norway ???? Im coming to get you kay Excellent. Thanks Slicer, I didn't know you were going to help me by letting Sponge Bob be your ally! I could use the extra resources. (oh, bob, just as a hint, if you are going to pretend to be one of his TAs, you should list his TAs correctly first) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Spongebob Posted March 10, 2009 Report Share Posted March 10, 2009 Ahhh rumbled again, dont you just love propaganda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slicer Posted March 11, 2009 Report Share Posted March 11, 2009 First, none of the Northern Russian real estate or labor law attorneys from Northern Russia are licensed to practice law in Finland. Therefore, they were all arrested for practicing law without a license. Intead of keepoing them incarcerated in Finnish prisons, we decided it was more beneficial to the Finnish people to send them back to Leningrad in dinghys. Now many of the dinghys were rather beat up, so some may not have made it. Of course, just to make sure those that made it didn't turn around and sue us as the manufacturer of the boats, we made sure all the dinghys used were ones that were made in Northern Russia,(however I think one or two were made in Sweden or the Baltic States) So you should be prepared for an onslaught of prolific litigation that will probably clog your courts in the near future. Sincerely, the Finnish Minister of Tourism Greetings from the Dey of Algiers! To Our Finnish Cousin, We observe the perfidity of attorneys is matched only by the duplicity of diplomats. It is well that you've taken action to rid your country of these pests and wish you continued success. We also congratulate you on using dinghy's as the mode of transport, as anything with sails would have been sped along by their own hot air. Although highly impractical at the moment; we would remind you that we do keep few of the old Galleys around and are always looking for 'volunteers' to man the oars should you find yourself running short of other suitable transport. Are you certain that you know what you mean by your perfidy "observation?" My Law of War attorney (my evil twin) tells me that although perfidy is prosecutable, it would not apply in this case. Perfidy is the gaining of an unfair advantage against your enemy combatant(s) by treacherously inducing them to follow a particular precept of the law of war while at the same time you have decided to take advantage of the opportunity. An example is feigning being hors de combat and then, when your enemy ceases firing on you under Geneva Convention One (GCI), you rise up in surprise to shoot him as he approaches unaware of your true condition. Feigning surrender is also an example of perfidy. Interestingly, as a lawful combatant, you are still immune from your warlike acts (in this case, murder or assault) but you could be found guilty of perfidy. Why does that matter? The Finished Army approached my otherwise peaceful lawyers (who were, of course guarded by Russian Soldier - understandable given the rough neighborhoods of Juuka), dressed as civilian police, judges and opposing counsel. They used this reliance on my Soldiers' unwillingness to violate the civilians' protected status permitted them, to treacherously gain an advantage of war to which they were not entitled. Thus - the Finished Army Soldiers committing these treacherous acts are subject to punishment for perfidy. The Russian Army will implement that punishment. You might not want to let your children see the righteous suffering of so many members of the Finished National Military. V/R Sergei Topov The Judge Advocate General Russian Army General Staff You know there is one very disapointing thing about this game and thats the total lack of credible opponants, only Kurryarsier in Finland is worthy of my spite, not a single other springs to mind worthy of me so It looks like I will have to assist my best best buddy in Northern Russia. Hey slicer we had them fooled did'nt we, they never guessed you and me VS the rest, he he he eh! So have you guessed who I am yet - Baltics, Sweden, Norway ???? Im coming to get you kay Excellent. Thanks Slicer, I didn't know you were going to help me by letting Sponge Bob be your ally! I could use the extra resources. (oh, bob, just as a hint, if you are going to pretend to be one of his TAs, you should list his TAs correctly first) Robert is a close friend, but even I am not privy to his diabolical mind. So, unless one of my friends is secretly, actually our close friend FishRobert RectangleShorts, then he is mistaken....though he would be my friend, assuming there was lebensraum for both of us! Slicerov the Terrible Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Atkins Posted March 11, 2009 Report Share Posted March 11, 2009 Greetings from the Dey of Algiers! To Slicerov the Terrible, You are most fortunate to have this Segei Topov in your service. Our scholars have reported they could not have come up with better example of perfidy, duplicity, and [i might add] convolution than his discourse on the treachery of the Finn. We find this 'Geneva Convention' he speaks of to be a cumbersome document produced by lawyer/diplomats [they're interchangable, being one leads to becoming the other] to hamper what would otherwise be a straightforward exchange of wills. We are not Barbarians, however, and do recognise certain protocols in combat; ie: not interfering with an answer to a call of nature [unless, of course, it's a lawyer]! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spartacus Posted March 11, 2009 Report Share Posted March 11, 2009 You speak of Lawyers but wait one holy moment - The Austrian Government is currently arguing terms with a posse of Estate Agents who have moved into Vienna. Shirley you can see that Lawyers may be low on the food chain but that Estate Agents rank lower. They are currently trying to avoid deportation by running around, flapping arms and legs and throwing deeds in the air. Rest assured these Estate Agents will be removed, we can only hope they are not joined by the Double Glazing Salesmen from Hungary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommy Atkins Posted March 11, 2009 Report Share Posted March 11, 2009 You speak of Lawyers but wait one holy moment - The Austrian Government is currently arguing terms with a posse of Estate Agents who have moved into Vienna. Shirley you can see that Lawyers may be low on the food chain but that Estate Agents rank lower. They are currently trying to avoid deportation by running around, flapping arms and legs and throwing deeds in the air. Rest assured these Estate Agents will be removed, we can only hope they are not joined by the Double Glazing Salesmen from Hungary Greetings from the Dey of Algiers! To Our Friend Spartacus, While we agree on your assessment of the nuisance value of these creatures, we disagree with your 'food chain' analogy. We feel they are part of a biological progression, much akin to nits becoming lice! We know the stronger are fully capable of devouring the weaker [as well as their own children] but the existence of something called 'Aluminum Siding Specialist' strengthens our arguement. And please don't call us Surely! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spartacus Posted March 11, 2009 Report Share Posted March 11, 2009 You speak of Lawyers but wait one holy moment - The Austrian Government is currently arguing terms with a posse of Estate Agents who have moved into Vienna. Shirley you can see that Lawyers may be low on the food chain but that Estate Agents rank lower. They are currently trying to avoid deportation by running around, flapping arms and legs and throwing deeds in the air. Rest assured these Estate Agents will be removed, we can only hope they are not joined by the Double Glazing Salesmen from Hungary Greetings from the Dey of Algiers! To Our Friend Spartacus, While we agree on your assessment of the nuisance value of these creatures, we disagree with your 'food chain' analogy. We feel they are part of a biological progression, much akin to nits becoming lice! We know the stronger are fully capable of devouring the weaker [as well as their own children] but the existence of something called 'Aluminum Siding Specialist' strengthens our arguement. And please don't call us Surely! Glad you got the Airplane Joke Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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